


Lordstorm Meets His Alien Fans

by Kelkat9



Series: Lordstorm and His LiveJournal Adventures [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Aliens, Aliens Made Them Do It, Bad Puns, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, pirate talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 07:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8880469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: Lordstorm and  his beloved muse and inspiration for all his smutty fics, Dametyler are kidnapped by some of his alien fans who want him to write them smutfic.  Much naughtiness happens to inspire him to write said story.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bad pirate puns follow. Sort of naughty in a bad pirate talk way ;)

Rose and the Doctor stood on a dais in a massive room staring at a group of brightly colored, furry aliens who stood about four feet high. They had huge eyes, potato shaped bodies and were chirping and jumping up and down as fast as their stubby little legs would allow. Each one was a different color of the rainbow. They were not wearing any clothes that Rose could see and probably didn’t need to as the fur on their bodies was quite thick. Even their heads were covered in the thick colorful fur. Although Rose didn’t see any facial features other than their eyes, she knew they must have a mouth as they were making lots of loud chirping noises.

The Doctor was bouncing with excitement. Rose just looked at him as he fidgeted around with a bright smile on his face. “Doctor, who are they? They look like something out of Dr. Seuss,” she said, staring at the excited little creatures.

“Rose, Dr. Seuss was the nom de plume of Theodor Seuss Geisel annnnd, he may have based some of his characters on…well, real beings. Just not any from Earth,” he said, tugging at his ear nervously.

Rose stared at him. “Lemme guess. You took Dr. Seuss or whoever for a trip?” Rose paused “So, that’s why there’s no Dr. Seuss in this universe,” she mused.

The Doctor turned to her, his face falling. “There’s no Dr. Seuss in Pete’s World?” he asked in a soft voice, almost like a child coming to the realization there was no Santa Claus.

Rose watched his jaw drop and realized this was yet another one of those culture shock moments. Sort of like when he realized in Pete’s world, the Beatles were called the Bees or that there was no orange marmalade. 

“Oh, but there is Lady Fifi’s Tales of the Fantastic. It’s a bit like Dr. Seuss.” Rose said, in an attempt to soften the blow.

“It’s not the same,” he said, pouting, scuffing his trainers on the ground.

Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. “Right, so who are this lot and why have they kidnapped us?”

The Doctor brightened at this question. “Oh, they’re the Lixatorans. They didn’t really kidnap us per say, more like brought us on tour,” he explained and winked at the Lixatorans. He turned back at Rose. “Well, I say us, but I mean, well, me. Apparently, Lordstorm has a following that extends several galaxies away,” he said, very pleased with himself.

“The aliens like to read your smut fic,” Rose said slowly. She turned and looked at the Lixatorans and noticed a banner had appeared behind them. It read in English, “We Heart Lordstorm.” Rose covered her eyes with her hands and shook her head. She could not believe they’d been transmatted away from Earth by a bunch colorful alien smut fic addicts. She watched as a bright blue, furry Lixatoran toddled up to the Doctor and held out what looked like a bright yellow ipad in it’s stubby little hand.

“Awww look Rose! I think it wants my autograph!” the Doctor exclaimed. He knelt down and carefully drew his finger across the yellow ipad as the blue furry Lixatoran squealed and jumped up and down. He smiled at his little furry fan who blinked it’s enormous thick lashed eyes at him. “There you are!” he said with a big smile.

The blue Lixatoran looked at it’s ipad and ran back to the others who all gathered around and stared at it whispering in some language Rose could not understand. After a few minutes, horns sounded and a much larger, pine green Lixatoran arrived wearing a large gold medallion around it’s head. It was surrounded by other shorter creatures in a sort of procession. It walked up to the Doctor and stared at him.

“Great and most artistic, Lordstorm. We welcome you. Your stories regarding the prolific mating rituals between the Wanderer and his most lusty companion have brought us much joy and inspired much procreation among our species. We honor you,” the green Lixatoran said in English and held up his little hands and waved them about his head.

The Doctor grinned and looked at Rose. “Did you hear that! They love my writing!” he said proudly and straightened his tie. “See Rose, they just want to honor me. Nothing wrong with a little fan worship.” He waved at his adoring fans.

Rose crossed her arms and glared at him. “Oh yeah, than why am I here then?”

“Oh, you’re my uh, muse,” he said and winked at her as he turned back to the Lixatorans and spoke to them in their language. Before long, the two of them were escorted to luxurious quarters. 

“See Rose, their treating us like celebrities! All they wanted was to meet me and well, they might want me to whip out a story while I’m here.“

“Whip out a story?“ Rose repeated. “They want to watch while you write smutfic?“ Rose asked with a confused expression.

“Oh, no, no, no! They understand that an artist needs space and inspiration. You see, it’s the third quatrain of their mating cycle and the two moons will reach their equinox which is most auspicious. They want me to write a story to sort of spur on their mating ceremony. Isn’t that brilliant!“ the Doctor enthused.

“They want you to write smut to get ‘em all horny so they can mate?“ Rose said slowly and then burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny,“ the Doctor said, offended and sniffing. “It’s an honor that my writing is so vivid and emotionally evocative, that it helps promote the propagation of an entire species,” he said, pouting and walked over to a sitting area of brightly colored plush sofas where he plunked down before a laptop sitting on a table just waiting for him.

Rose sighed as he pulled out his glasses and began tapping away at the laptop. She turned away knowing he was now in Lordstorm mode. She wandered about their quarters exploring. The suite of rooms was quite large with a bedroom, bathroom and living area. She couldn’t help but notice odd items scattered about the room. In the bathroom, she found a table stacked with a variety of rubber duckies. A pedestal sat in the middle of the table on which sat, in almost a place of honor, a pirate ducky. It looked like an alter to the happy yellow fowl. Rose stared at it in confusion and then continued walking around the room. There were a variety of bubble bath and soap items, all of which were somewhat familiar to her.

She continued into the bedroom where a long, blue silken scarf was draped across a pewter sculptured headboard. The bed itself was massive with bright blue bedding and a massive amount of pillows in silver, blue, gray and white. The cabinet next to the bed held a variety of sexy products, including massage oil, a massage bar and a jar of raspberry jam. Rose nervously opened one of the drawers only to find candles and an assortment of other naughty items. There was even a black leather collar and leash laying on the bed.

That’s when it hit her. The little perverted aliens had filled the suite with everything mentioned in Lordstorm’s stories and a few which Dametyler had blogged about. Immediately, Rose felt a touch paranoid and began scanning the room for any cameras. She was sure they were watching and if they were, the little voyeurs were going to get an up close and personal dose of the Tyler wrath.

Rose stormed out of the bedroom and headed directly to the Doctor who seemed blissfully oblivious as he tapped away on his laptop. Before she could say anything, a bell sounded and a covered silver tray appeared on a table nearby. She wandered over and lifted the silver lid off to find a sumptuous meal including a very decadent looking chocolate cake.

“Oooo cake!” the Doctor exclaimed and stepped away from the laptop, his eyes focused on the cake. Rose slapped his hand as he reached for it.

“Oi! What’s that for?” he asked, rubbing and staring at her perturbed.

“Don’t eat that cake!” Rose exclaimed. “It’s….it’s naughty cake. Like naughty bad alien sex pollen cake!”

“What!” the Doctor exclaimed, looking at Rose like she had lost her mind. “Rose, I told you. They just brought us here to pile on a bit of fan worship. That’s all.

“Oh no they didn’t! Doctor, this suite is filled with stuff from your Lordstorm stories.”

The Doctor looked around the suite, his forehead creasing in concentration and eventually he wandered over to a nearby chest. He lifted up the lid to find it filled with pirate costumes. He picked up an eye patch which dangled from his finger and faced Rose who stood nearby arms crossed and an irritated expression on her face. He looked from the eye patch to Rose. If it were possible for her to glare more, she did.

“What?” he asked.

“Doctor, they want us to shag.”

“Nooo! Well, maybe. But, only as inspiration. They want me to write something special, Rose. I always write better after we… You know, dance the mattress fandango, make whoopee, engage in hanky panky,” he said and sidled up to her, swinging the eye patch and grinning.

“Here? You wanna shag here?” Rose asked, not at all pleased or comfortable with the idea. 

“I reallly need the inspiration," he said whining slightly.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Don't give me the pouty lip. It's not gonna work. I can't!" Rose said, her eyes darting around. "They're watching. I can't play naughty pirate while they're watching" she whispered.

The Doctor brightened up and pulled out his sonic. He input a setting and held the sonic up proudly. "Jamming frequency. Even if they were watching, which they're not, they won’t be able see anything. See, completely secure!"

Rose eyed the sonic, his pleading eyes and bit her lip She closed her eyes and groaned softly. "I am so gonna regret this, but all right. I'm telling you though, if we end up on some alien porno telly, all pirate play will be banished and you can get comfy with the sofa for a long while."

The Doctor grinned broadly and bounced up and down. "Ohhhh, this is going to be brilliant! You'll see! Our first off world naughty fantasy! Come on!" he said with great enthusiasm and dragged her behind him as he walked over to the case sitting almost too innocently against the wall.

He grabbed a few items from the trunk and left Rose to change while he ran back to the bedroom to prepare for naughty pirate time. Rose undressed and began pulling on the knee high black pirate boots. She pulled an over sized white ruffled pirate shirt on next followed by a tight black leather vest that fit like a corset. She fluffed out her hair before putting on the pirate hat and strapping on the belt with the sword scabbard. She walked over to a mirror and posed in front of it, giggling. She decided to focus on pirate time and shove all thoughts of pervy aliens out of her brain. 

The door to the bedroom was closed so she tapped on it. “Ahoy, Dread Pirate Roberts. Your first mate, Pirate Buttercup is here ready to be plundered or maybe hoist some sales and ride her pirate captain through the seas of seduction,” she said with a grin.

The door slowly opened and the Doctor lounged against the door frame with a smirk on his face. He was dressed in a white ruffled pirate shirt which was open to the waist, showing his dark haired manly chest. He also wore tight, black pirate trousers, an eye patch and the every present trainers. A pirate ducky sat on his shoulder.

Rose grinned brightly staring at the pirate ducky. “Pirate ducky instead of a parrot then?”

“Any pirate can have a parrot. Only the Dread Pirate Roberts has a super sonic pirate ducky.”

Rose leaned into him and drew a finger down his chest. “Mmmm and this super sonic pirate ducky, he has skills, yeah?”

The Doctor grinned and leaned closer to her. “Oh yes!” he practically growled.

“So, you gonna show me around and swash my buckle?” she asked, really getting into naughty pirate mode.

“Pirate Buttercup, I will do far more than swash your buckle, I’ll shiver your timbers, I‘ll be dropping anchor in your lagoon and showing you just how jolly Roger really was.” He grabbed her hand and hauled her into the room. The bed had a mast with sails over it. There was a pirate’s chest at the foot of the bed and gold coins scattered about along with a bottle of rum next to some banana daiquiris sitting on a table beside the bed.

Rose raised an eyebrow at the daiquiris.

“Always bring banana daiquiris to a party, especially, a naughty pirate party,” he told her, staring at how the black corset pushed her bosom up so that the ruffle shirt gaped giving just a hint of what lay beneath.

Rose smiled seductively, feeling a empowered by his focus on her womanly pirate charms. She had all but forgotten about the pervy aliens who brought them here and was fully engaged in their fantasy. She licked her lips and thought “Oh, but I’m gonna make my sexy pirate work for his booty.” She walked over to the chest and leaned over so that the pirate shirt rode up revealing her knickerless state. Opening the chest, she smirked at its contents.

She pulled out some rope and looked over her shoulder at him. He swaggered up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her tight against him until his mouth was next to her hear. “Did I say you could plunder my treasure?” he asked hotly into her hear, just beginning to nibble her earlobe.

She made sure her bum was pressed against him and murmured throatily, “Hmmm, I haven’t even begun to plunder.” She turned around and ran her booted foot up his leg. “As a matter of fact,” she said slowly, enunciating her words. “I’m more interested in hoisting the main sail.” She looked down and smirked. “Course, maybe you beat me to it?”

He grabbed her leg with a growl and pulled her against him forcefully. The pirate ducky on his shoulder squeaked. Rose raised an eyebrow looking from the pirate ducky to him. “I think your ducky might be getting a little excited,”

“Oh, he’s definitely excited,” he said and squeezed her bum before slowly and thoroughly snogging her. When she pulled away, she was already feeling the tumultuous warm waves of desire pooling between her thighs.

He looked at her like a pirate coveting his treasure. She reached down to cup her hot pirate’s throbbing scabbard. “Find something you like?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows as her clever hand unfastened his trousers and grasped his most definitely hoisted mainsail, running her fingers along its length and gently teasing his moistened tip eliciting a moan from him.

She lifted her finger to her mouth and sucked it, making quite a spectacle of curling her tongue around the tip and drawing it from her plump pink lips with a pop. He caught his breath and groaned. A satisfied grin emerged on her face as she disentangled herself from him and sashayed around the bed to a wall from which manacles dangled. “This for me or you?” she asked with an arched brow.

He slowly prowled over to her, ready to set aside any more games. She unbuckled her pirate belt and scabbard and it dropped to the floor with thunk and she tossed the pirate hat across the room. She swung her hips as she walked up to her flushed faced pirate kissing him to distraction while she slipped around and tugged him toward the bed where she gently pushed him down. He sat on the bed looking up at her as she rested her booted foot on the bed next to him causing her white ruffled shirt to rise up exposing her deliciously damp curls, just begging for his special attention.

“Now then Dread Pirate Roberts, it’s time for Buttercup’s revenge,” Rose informed him. “If you want to see my treasure, you’re gonna have to earn it,” she said saucily and pointed to her boots.

“Prepare to be boarded,” the Doctor said in a gravely voice, staring hotly at her. He ran his hands up the leather until he reached the leather cuff at the top and slowly drew the zipper down, tugging the boot off and tossing it aside. He leaned over, kissed the top of her foot and licked his way up to her knee, gently ghosting his fingers up the underside of her leg. He then set her foot down and lifted the other boot clad leg up repeating the process. He stared greedily at the loose shirt barely concealing what he wanted most.

Rose grasped his hand and shook her head. She leaned over giving him an even better glimpse of the pirate treasure contained within and reached for the pirate ducky on his shoulder. She cradled the little ducky in her hands and pressed soft kiss to his pirate hat clad head, flashing a coquettish look at the Doctor. The ducky started to vibrate.

The Doctor ripped his shirt off and was about to stand up when Rose placed her bare foot against his chest and pushed him down. He directed a burning gaze at her and scooted back on the bed. Quickly and efficiently, Rose removed his trainers and trousers, freeing her pirate’s very Jolly Roger. She crawled next to him still holding the sonic pirate ducky. She began trailing the vibrating ducky up and around his chest, eventually circling his navel and leaving the little ducky to sit there happily vibrating while she prepared to blow the man down. A few well practiced swipes with her tongue and the Doctor was shouting, “Shiver me timbers!”

A very pleased Pirate Buttercup was playing with the sonic ducky as she lounged next to him. Before she could say “Yo ho ho,” she found herself rolled over looking up at the Dread Pirate Roberts, still wearing his eye patch and a hot lascivious grin. 

“Avast ye, Pirate Buttercup. Your booty is mine,” he said in a sexy pirate voice. Rose giggled. He gripped her white shirt and ripped it across, exposing all her pirate treasure for his inspection. The Dread Pirate Roberts was thorough and enjoyed inspecting his pirate booty starting with Buttercups most ample chest. 

He nuzzled her bosom inhaling deeply. He laid gentle kisses on each breast, his tongue darting out to taste her. Rose sucked in her breath and moaned. He licked between the valley of her breasts and under and around until he reached the peak of her right breast where he gently took the pebbled nipple in his teeth.

“Doctor!” Rose moaned.

“Oh no, the Dread Pirate Roberts and he’s ready to have you walk his plank,” the Doctor said, looking up at her with mischievous eyes before leaning over and licking his way downward across her abdomen. 

His hands followed, skimming across her skin feeling her writhe beneath his touch and gently parting her thighs to give him access to her hidden treasure. She was slick and hot and oh so ready for him. The slightest flick of his tongue had her screaming his name. He took his time swirling around that sensitive little bud of nerves that would completely drive her over the edge. Looking up at her panting and making mewling noises, he could see she was close. He kissed the inside of one of her thighs and she looked down at him with hooded eyes.

He crawled up her body laying a kiss on her navel and positioned himself at her entrance ready to drop anchor in her lagoon. He slowly thrust into her, enjoying the tight warmth of her. He set a languid pace wanting to enjoy this as long as possible, although when her legs wrapped around him, he knew it wouldn’t be long. 

Rose reveled in the nerve tingling heat of him inside of her filling her up with what she craved the most, him. There was nothing like the press of his manly pirate scabbard pressing against at just the right angle. The sound of his flesh slapping against hers as he muttered alien words against her skin enraptured her until she lost herself to just the feeling of skin on skin. Even wearing an eye patch, which she found dead sexy, his love and passion shown through to her. Heat built between them and she encouraged him on, begging him to thrust harder and muttering she loved him until he shouted out “Thar she blows!” as they both reached completion.

After several more rounds of inspiration, Lordstorm was able to very quickly write a story filled with such hawtness, it spurred the Lixatorans into a mating frenzy like no other. At the completion of their mating cycle, the Lixatorans presented the Doctor and Rose with a chest filled with all the sexy items they enjoyed for naughty pirate time. They were transmatted back to Earth and the Doctor wasted no time in posting his story to LJ where he received a record number of comments.


End file.
